Where Dreamscapes Come From

a deeper look at my psyche than anyone has ever asked for & an explanation for the curious

For most of my life, I’ve struggled to fall asleep at night. I’d say that on average it takes me nearly an hour to conk out. I’m not an insomniac by any stretch, but I’m also not as blessed as my partner who is out within single-digit minutes of closing his eyes.

In high school, I started to develop a coping mechanism. If I was going to be awake, with my mind dragging up all manner of anxieties and memories, the least I could do was encourage my mind to dwell on something more pleasant. So when I found sleep elusive, I’d begin imagining myself somewhere else. Somewhere that the sights, sounds, and senses that I conjured might overwhelm and smother the brain gremlins.

Sometimes I’d imagine myself sitting at the bank of a stream, surrounded by tall grass, with heavy storm clouds on the horizon and a creaking tree by my side. Other times I’d curl up in a bed of thick quilts and blankets in the heart of a tree so tremendous that there was even a fireplace built in that did no harm to the living giant. Eventually, I’d fall asleep with the feeling of warmth and a gentle red glow washing over me. Sometimes I’d float on a bed, adrift on a gentle lake, looking up at a sea of stars and auroras. One of my favorite dreamscapes was deep within a pine forest, with snow falling through the branches and sublimating as the bonfire before me reached up to catch it.

These were little meditations. Imagined worlds that I could put myself into at will to soothe my nervous system. They are precious to me. But it wasn’t until recently that I realized that I could build these worlds during the day - write them down - read them to myself, and find that it wasn’t just sleep that I could induce. Depending on the dreamscape, I might invoke excitement, wonder, or clarity instead.

On a whim, I offered personalized dreamscapes to my newsletter subscribers. They would tell me what they wanted to feel, and I’d imagine a place for them where they might feel just that. I’ve grown to love these writings - not quite poetry, not quite prose.

Some of my subscribers asked to see more. And so, here we are. In addition to the poetry and fiction I love to share here on substack, I’ll also be publishing some dreamscapes: brief poetic meditations that can take you somewhere else for a short time.

Enjoy. Explore. Daydream.

PS- If you’d like a personalized dreamscape (and I haven’t yet written one for you), I’m offering them to both my newsletter and substack subscribers. Reach out to me with an email or a comment, and I’ll write something just for you.